Slice of Cheese, A Screaming Baby & Exposing Myself - Kendrick Shope
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Slice of Cheese, A Screaming Baby & Exposing Myself

Slice of Cheese, A Screaming Baby & Exposing Myself

One month ago today was Halianna’s birthday and I could not be more proud of her, but the beginning was not exactly sunshine and roses. Halianna cried nearly nonstop for the first year of her life. 

Y’all know I like to be prepared, so I read ALL the books before I had her. All the books taught me if you have a baby who cries for more than four hours straight, something is wrong, so take them to the ER.

I had been to the ER so much that they told me to stop coming, nothing was wrong with my baby other than she was a screamer! (Super helpful, right?)  I know all mommas can relate to the feeling of getting zero sleep and barely functioning as a human during the first few months of a new baby’s life. 

That is how I found myself on the phone with MY mom, begging her to come help me because I was afraid I was going to drop Halianna from sheer exhaustion after four straight days and nights of NO sleep and a screaming baby. 

Something strange happened when my mom entered the house after the three-hour drive from Sweetwater to Atlanta. There were no screaming sounds coming from Halianna’s room. Then she saw a random slice of warm cheese, just sitting on the counter. What in the world was going on? As she went upstairs, my mom discovered the best sight in the entire world, Halianna had finally gone to sleep… in my arms. 

There was a problem: I had to go to the bathroom. I was doing the bathroom dance to hold it all in. Gross, right? But, mommas, I know you get it. There was no way I was going to urinate on myself.


There was no way I was putting this sleeping baby down after four days of nonstop crying, either..

Watch today’s ASTV to get the rest of this beyond embarrassing story. Oh yes, there’s a message for you here even if you’re not a momma. You gotta hear this one. 

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