Growing up, I dreamed of accepting an award for best actress in a television show.
Fantasizing about what I would wear, what I would say, and being a role model for others, demonstrating that dreams can come true. This image consumed my thoughts as a child. I’ve always been a bit of a drama queen—with B-I-G dreams. I’m betting if you’re part of this community you can relate!
Don’t Roll Your Eyes Just Yet, This Is About You
This past year has been a whirlwind of opportunities for me; a book, shooting a pilot for a TV show, being invited to appear on a national talk show, and so much more. Confession: sometimes I secretly wonder when the rug is going to be pulled out from under me and I’m going to end up back in pharmaceuticals sales.
Women Need To Be Polite And Accept What You Get
Too often, society tells us women:
- Be polite
- Don’t be too aggressive
- Show up and be “sugar, spice and everything nice”
- Don’t rock the boat, your time will come
- Be a perfect mix of assertive and feminine
Allow me to introduce you to gender socialization- “the process of learning the social expectations and attitudes associated with one’s sex. Sociologists explain through gender socialization why human males and females behave in different ways: they learn different social roles. For example, girls learn to do different household chores than boys; girls learn to bake and clean, and boys learn to mow lawns and take out the garbage.”
While this is the world we live in, it doesn’t mean that it’s ok to stand on the sidelines, watching your life pass by, afraid to go after, or worse, vocalize what you want in life. So today we’re going to change the conversation about how to claim what you want.
Understanding the climate we live in, including gender socialization, allows you to use it to your benefit and get what you want.
Say It Like You Mean It
In 2011, I grabbed the mic, hands shaking, and walked up to a stage full of strangers in NYC. I declared I was headed home to find a way to quit my six-figure job and to make this outrageous dream of running a business and becoming a star a reality.
One year later, I returned to that same event as a guest of Marie Forleo, not only had I quit my job, but I had spent a year learning from one of the most gifted businesswomen of our time about what it takes, really, to create the life and business of my dreams.
This dream went from “normal” to outrageous October 22, 2012, with the above proclamation and yours can, too.
Women, it’s time to get aggressive about what you want, claim it, vocalize it. When you step into being authentically unafraid to ask for what you want, something happens. It doesn’t matter if you’re looking for your first customer, biggest close of your life, or to make a childhood dream come true; you need to be able to claim it, speak it, before you can make it happen.
Your dreams and goals need a place to come alive where they can thrive, with other women who get it. Not the ones that are going to hate you, but the ones who are ready to change the conversation about what it means to talk the talk and walk the walk instead of sitting on the sidelines of life.
I’m Going To The Emmys. Will You Join Me?
Your Authentic Selling challenge is to have the courage to slip into your best pair of Louboutins, hold your head high and share what you want within the next year. The time is now to start dreaming out loud and get out of your own way. Stop limiting yourself, worrying about if it’s ok to admit you want something so big, so nontraditional, or even worse; if this dream is something that is going to get you judged and shunned by others. [TWEET THAT]
I invite you to post in the comments below, a goal, dream, or vision you have for your business or life that sounds too outrageous to share anywhere else. One so big you could allow yourself to feel ashamed or embarrassed but, today, you’re choosing empowerment instead.
AND to help you get started, I’m going to share a couple of my outrageous dreams (and some of the thoughts and fears I have as I share these goals).
- In 2017 I want to be nominated for best reality series and win an Emmy (writing that makes me want to vomit because it feels like something I “should” not share out loud)
- I want to make a billion dollars (I’m nowhere close to that figure and my husband about spit his Red Bull out when I said that out loud but he felt the same way when I said I wanted to make a million!)
Have fun with this exercise, dream big, and own it.
Share in the comments what you want. Don’t worry about how to you’re going to make this outrageous dream happen. This exercise is about defying the roles we’re told we need to play to be successful. And it begins right now.
- Want to be on Oprah? Post it like you mean it below
- Want to close your first sale? Tell me about it in the comments
- Want to join me at the Emmys? Write it below and claim it?
- Want to make your first six-figures? Get started writing your own story below?
- Want to quit your corporate job? Share it. Post it. Claim it.
So what’s your big dream for the next year, next quarter, or next month? I shared mine, you share yours and I’ll see you at the 2017 Emmys!